I Must Be Crazy

The door Markus and Zariya went through was quite plain bare wood, with a simple latch. On the other side, the sun filtered down through cool green leaves, casting shifting shadows on the ground. They marvelled briefly at the fact that their clothing had changed.
“Great, woods,” Zariya muttered, as the door closed behind them. “I hope we’re near a town or something, ‘cos otherwise this might not be good.”
“Why not?” Markus pulled a piece of paper off a tree. “Hey, look, this has our names on it.”
“It does? Let me see.” The werewolf peered over his shoulder as he read the note.
“The Jewel of Courage,” Markus read.
“Great, a nice cheesy name, always good to see that whoever names these things has no originality whatsoever,” said Zariya. “‘This jewel is currently being held by the village’s champion swordsman. In order to retrieve it, you will need to overcome this obstacle and retrieve the jewel.’”
“We have to fight a swordsman?” exclaimed Markus disbelievingly. “But-”
“It’s s duel, so no,” she interrupted. “One of us has to fight the swordsman, one on one. Sounds like fun, no?”
“No!”
She laughed. “Come on, let’s find this village.”

The village was small and quaint and, back in Markus’s world, would probably have been overrun by tourists. The houses were a little Tudor-ish, but showed other little touches which Markus didn’t recognise.
After wandering around for a while, Zariya stopped a man passing them in the street and asked, “Who’s the strongest swordsman in this place?”
He gave her an odd look. “You’re not from around here, are you?”
“How can you tell?” Zariya said innocently. “It’s not my clothes, is it?” She swished her skirt, which was lilac. She had already proclaimed her utter hatred for it at least twice.
“No, it’s not,” muttered the man, peering at Markus suspiciously. “In the inn.”
“Sorry?”
“The inn, the inn! Go to the inn!” the man snapped, pointing back the way they’d come. “It’s next to the forge… honestly, you weirdos all come here…” He stomped away angrily.
“It seems this whole place has a major chill-pill shortage,” Zariya remarked, as she and Markus headed over to the inn.
“You just antagonise them,” the blonde boy murmured, shifting his shoulders uncomfortably. The shirt he was wearing was scratchier than he would have liked.
“Always accused of that, aren’t I? I just act like myself, that’s all.” The werewolf strode into the inn and yelled, “Oi, you bunch of winos! Who here thinks they’re a hotshot swordsman and has a fancy shiny jewel thing?”
“Zariya!” Markus said, grabbing her arm. She blinked down at him
“Don’t worry, tiny, I’ll stop ‘em from eating you alive.”
“Hey, girl,” the man behind the bar said nastily. “You know it’s a stupid thing to do to come into a tavern full of people you don’t know and insult them, right?”
“Oh yes,” said Zariya. Markus thought she sounded quite smug, but couldn’t imagine why. “I know that very well.”
“Then why?” demanded the man. “I bet you’ve hardy been here five minutes, yet you’re already causing trouble!”
“What can I say, I’m talented.”
Markus tugged hard on her sleeve, and she looked at him. “Stop it, Zariya!” he said sharply, and looked apologetically around the tavern. “S-sorry about her, she’s, uh, insane.” He didn’t notice the werewolf grin behind him, as if she’d achieved a goal.
There was a chuckle from behind him. “Yes, I think we noticed.” It was a girl with short, messy black hair; she walked past him and went to the bar.
“Argent, they were asking for you,” the man behind the bar hissed to her. Calmly, she took a glass and drew her own drink from the tap.
“I know, I heard that bit too. I think the phrase was ‘hotshot swordsman’? Why do you want me anyway?”
“Don’t want you, want the jewel,” corrected Zariya. The girl, Argent, pulled a small, glinting object from her belt pouch and held it up thoughtfully.
“This one?”
“Yes, that one.” Zariya grinned. “Care to hand it over?”
The girl put it back in her pocket. “Fight me,” she said simply.
“Bite me!” the werewolf responded quickly. The girl rolled her eyes.
“I wasn’t talking to you anyway, I was talking to him.” She nodded at Markus, who blinked, and pointed uncertainly at himself.
“Me? Why?”
“Because you’re the smaller opponent, no doubt,” muttered Zariya. Argent raised an eyebrow at her.
“Well, it will make quite an interesting change,” she remarked. “Usually I’m the smaller opponent. It’ll be fun being the big one for a change. But that’s not the only reason.” She chuckled, and came over to stand in front of Markus. She was about a head taller than him, and he stared up at her with apprehension. Grinning, she put her hands on his shoulders and leaned down to rest her forehead against his.
“You seem to be lacking in confidence a little,” she whispered, so that only he could hear. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, being shy. But you shouldn’t hang onto everyone around you all the time.”
Markus felt his cheeks go hot, and she let him go, grinning. “I - I’m not…”
“So, you going to fight me?” she asked, cutting over him. “There’s no way you’ll get your crystal otherwise.”
Markus hesitated. “I… I don’t know how to fight.”
“You don’t? Not even fisticuffs?” the girl asked, surprised. He shook his head.
“Well, you couldn’t exactly have him fighting with his fists against your sword,” the barkeeper observed. Argent sighed.
“I wasn’t going to fight him with my swords if he was a fist-fighter, stupid. That’s just unfair.”
“Well, if you teach him to use a sword, it’ll still be unfair,” pointed out some other person who was sitting at the bar. “He’ll have… what, a few hours experience? You’ll have about… six years?”
“Ten.” The girl pursed her lips. “You’re right, actually. I never considered what would happen if I was challenged by someone who couldn’t actually fight.”
“Well, we don’t usually have idiots passing though,” the barman muttered. Argent focused on Zariya.
“I don’t suppose you can fight?”
“I’m a champion at verbal sparring.”
“Hmm. No, not quite. Ah! I have an idea.” She turned to the tavern in general. “I don’t suppose we have any bar brawlers in here?” A few men admitted that they may know a few things about hand to hand, down and dirty fighting. “Brilliant! Then you’ll be willing to teach a couple of eager students?”
“What?” Markus said weakly. She squeezed his shoulder, waiting for the responses of the men. At last, one volunteered cautiously to share his knowledge.

For the next few hours, the man, who introduced himself as Sentinel, trained Markus and Argent in the art of brawling. Although he claimed his name was Sentinel, whether this was his real name was questionable, and although he called brawling an art, it certainly didn’t seem to be to Markus; it mostly involved using whatever was on hand to hurt the other person as much as possible. At the end, Argent clapped her hands and grinned wickedly at Markus.
“Well then, are you ready to fight me and get that jewel?”
“No,” said the boy truthfully, but she just laughed and grabbed his arm.
“Come on!”
A small audience had gathered in the tavern, apparently interest to see their swordsman - or swordswoman, as Argent had corrected Markus at some point - fight an unknown newcomer, using methods they’d both only just learned. The blonde boy chewed his lower lip anxiously, and jumped as Zariya came up behind him to say, “Boo!”
“Don’t do that,” he protested. Laughing, Zariya hugged him around the neck from behind and rested her chin on the top of his head to watch Argent chatting excitedly with the barman.
“She’s fairer than I thought she would be. Usually these types are so far up their own butts they can see out their own mouths.”
Markus laughed. “She’s a bit strange, really.”
“Oh well, she’ll fit right in with our lot, then.”
“What do you mean?”
Zariya shrugged. “Well, since we’re going to be hiring people to help that demon hunter guy, why not ask her? I’ve been talking to some of the people in the village about her. Their stories were probably hugely exaggerated, but even if you add the pinch of salt they’re reasonable impressive.”
“Oh?” said Markus, interested. “What did they say?”
“Oh, a whole load of stuff. She wasn’t born here… her father was also some kind of big legendary guy. They all said stuff about how she’s fought and defeated gods and all kinds of weird things. Apparently she spent loads of time travelling with the demi-god of Mischief or something.”
“Wow,” said Markus. “So they have gods and things here?”
“Weird, isn’t it? Pretty cool, though. In your world there doesn’t seem to be much of that.”
“Zariya?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you from Earth?”
“Haha, ask it bluntly, why don’t you? No, I’m not. My world doesn’t really have a name - it’s just called the World. Werewolves are pretty common there, we’re pretty much on the same level as humans. It’s just… something you’re born with.”
“Oh. So… not like this world, then? Do they have werewolves here?”
“I think they do… apparently one of Argent’s friends is one. Or was one, depending on whether or not she’s still alive.”
Argent seemed to hear this, and came over, smiling. “Her name is Holly and she’s still alive,” she assured them. “You’ve been asking about me? I’m a little flattered but mostly disturbed.”
Zariya laughed. “Don’t be. I don’t suppose you’re up for hire as a mercenary at all?”
The girl grinned. “Depends how he does in the fight.” She nodded at Markus. “Anyway, are you ready?”
He sighed, and stood up. “As I’ll ever be, I suppose.”
“Good! Come on, let’s get brawling!”

The first thing that happened to Markus was that his legs were kicked from underneath him and he ended up on the floor. Once he got up, Argent continued to strategically demolish him until he finally landed in a tangle on the ground, winded, and didn’t even bother getting up. The small crowd cheered and laughed as Argent, grinning, offered him a hand.
“Not bad, actually, you laid a couple of good blows,” she told him, pushing him onto a chair. “Are you okay?”
He ached all over, but he wasn’t telling her that. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Good, glad to hear it.”
“So… I’m guessing I don’t get the jewel, then.”
“Don’t be stupid, mate, it’s my turn now!” exclaimed Zariya fiercely, pushing up the sleeves of her blouse, but Argent just laughed again and pulled the jewel out of her belt pouch.
“Well, I was never actually expecting you to win, if I’m honest, although that’s not any reflection on you. My entire life is basically dedicated to fighting, whereas you have other things to do. So here, have this.” She pushed it into his hands. “Because you had the courage to fight me