I Must Be Crazy

As they waited for Mr Pith to return from wherever he’d gone with the jewel, Darcie, Tracy, Markus and Zariya found themselves explaining everything to Marn.
“That’s why we needed the jewel, you see,” completed Darcie with a nod, dabbing at the cuts on Tracy’s arms with a cotton-wool ball soaked in disinfectant; Alexa had helpfully provided a first aid kit.
“What kind of place is this, that it works for jewels which must be stolen from people who have absolutely nothing to do with it?” the warrior snapped. He was holding his mask to his face protectively as Zariya tended his various small wounds. An impressive bruise was already forming on one shoulder where he’d landed on the ground, turning his already dark skin black-purple. The werewolf tweaked one of the feathers on the mask.
“It’s a very expensive and unusual place,” she told him. “And these are extenuating circumstances. From what I can see, it’s not as if your chief was even using it. How much use will it be stuck on a mask?”
“But masks are important!” he wailed. “It’s like… it’s like stealing a bit of your soul!”
“So what if I do this?” Zariya wrenched his mask out of his hands, retreating a few steps. The warrior screamed as though he was being burned, covering his face with his hands.
“Zariya! Stop that this instant!” Hadrian whisked the mask out of her hands and returned it to Marn. “There. Now, now, don’t cry - you’re a grown man, for shame!”
“Some warrior,” remarked the werewolf, folding her arms. “All you’d need to do is nick their masks and the whole village would be yours for the taking!”
Marn wiped his eyes and glared up at her. For a moment she saw a flash of bright orange eyes - traffic-light orange, almost - before the mask was put back in place and they were once again put in shadow. “The difference is, you see, no-one from our world would - would have the sheer gall to remove our masks.”
“You’re weird,” she said, not overly bothered.
“I think what you did to him was the equivalent of ripping off his underwear,” Darcie said, grinning. Zariya blinked, and made a face.
Mr Pith returned, humming loudly and happily as he climbed onto the chair and sat down. “Right then, you can have your three warriors now. There’s just one more thing I need to say - involving you three.” He nodded at Crispin, Hadrian and Zariya. “You have only two days left before you’ll be returning.”
“What?” exclaimed Lissy, but Darcie cleared her throat and gave Mr Pith a meaningful look.
“I have a few things to say to that, actually.” Mr Pith looked at her mistrustfully, and she smiled. “I see your hair is coming along nicely.” Indeed, a short gingery fuzz had already grown over Mr Pith’s bald spot. He ran his fingers over it, looking pleased that someone had noticed.
“Yes, it is. I can’t remember how long it’s been since hair has grown there.”
“I’m glad to see a satisfied customer.” Darcie sat down on the desk. “You see, Isaiah - I can call you that, can’t I? Good - those jewels we just got for you, they’re worth far more than you’re admitting to us. Just one of them is worth at least a month’s worth of hire for three people, let alone one. You’d still be making a very respectable profit if you let the kids hire two people for each jewel they get.”
Mr Pith stared at her, and then laughed loudly and disbelievingly. “This is a joke, right? There’s no way -”
“You see, Isaiah,” she said over him, acidly, “It was very easy to make your hair grow back, but it’s even easier to make it fall out again.” There was dead silence as she leaned towards the wide-eyed little man, smiling widely. “And when it falls out, it won’t only be the hair you just grew - it’ll be all of your hair. Can you say ‘hairless as a pea’, Isaiah?”
Mr Pith’s mouth was open in horror. Abruptly, he spun away from the desk and to the computer, where he typed and clicked furiously for a few minutes, before returning to the desk, breathing heavily.
“No need to worry, you three, all done, no need for more jewels or money or anything… now you just need to choose your warriors!”
Tracy looked around. “Which reminds me, where is that hunter man? Didn’t he come here with us?”
“He went off to drink beer or something,” supplied Alexa as she came in with tea for Mr Pith. “He should be returning right about now.”
On cue, the doors swung open and in stumbled Myles, yawning. He noticed the way they were looking at him. “What? A man’s got needs.”

The Agency abandoned all pretences of normality as the three warriors were brought in. Three separate portals opened once more, although this time there were no handles on the side of the doors that they could see.
The middle portal was the first to open, and through it stepped a black-haired girl, looking around her with interest. Clinging to her back with his arms around her neck like a monkey was a small boy with a mop of sandy blonde curls and sky blue eyes.
“Argent!” exclaimed Markus, standing up. Catching sight of him, the girl grinned.
“Hey there, Markus, nice to see you again. I was pretty pleased to get your offer - things had been getting boring.”
“What’s this? There’s two of them!” protested Mr Pith. Argent’s expression turned to mild dislike as she looked at him.
“We come as a pair,” announced the small boy on her shoulder. “Count us as one.”
“Yeah, he’s not going to be doing anything,” agreed the swordswoman. “Think of him as a pet.” The boy pouted. Mr Pith sighed, but caught Darcie’s eye and went back to his own business.
“Nice to see you again!” Zariya grinned, waving at Argent. “Looking forward to beating some demons?”
“Always up for a fight,” the girl laughed. “This is Loki, by the way. He turned up just as I was leaving and I didn’t have the heart to leave him behind.”
“Loki?” This was Marn, speaking for the first time in a while. The swordswoman turned to him, looking surprised. “Loki as in Loki Skystar?”
“That’s me!” the boy grinned impishly. “Glad to see my reputation still travels the land. You’re not Bayishi, are you?”
“A By-what-now?” Zariya said, blinking at Loki, who giggled.
“Bayishi. It’s a tribe. Or, at least, I think it is.”
Argent swatted him affectionately. “Stop talking about things you don’t know about.”
“Audax told me!”
“Audax?” exclaimed Hadrian. “You know Audax?”
“You know Audax?”
“Yay Audax!” sang Loki irrelevantly, and was swatted again.
“There was one of the jewels on Audax’s ship,” explained Crispin, and the swordswoman rolled her eyes.
“Typical. Always causing trouble.” She grinned. “I hunted them as a pirate hunter once, that’s how I know her. Audax, Jasper and Eamonn - great people, all of them, but not exactly normal.”
“Says the person with a demi-god on her back,” Marn said. “And no, I’m not Bayishi. Our tribe is from the jungle; the Bayishi are from the savannahs.”
Loki shrugged. “I just knew the Bayishi were from somewhere hot. And their god is a snake. What’s your tribe, then?”
“My tribe are the Migonwe.”
“Never heard of them.”
One of the other doors opened now, and another girl, this one with a wild mess of white-blonde hair, cart-wheeled through. She waved cheerfully, and thrust a folded piece of paper at the person closest to her, who happened to be Hadrian, who unfolded it and began to read aloud.
“’Hello again, dear friends! Sorry I couldn’t come personally, but we just got word of a new treasure on an island tantalisingly close to where we are now, and the temptation is just too much! This is Kay, one of my old shipmates. She’s actually part of my sister’s crew, but I managed to convince her to give you some help. Don’t bother with asking her questions - she doesn’t speak. Although, I’m not sure whether she can’t speak or whether she just doesn’t. It doesn’t matter, anyway - she’s a good fighter and a team player, so I’m sure you’ll all be fine. In any case, I wish you luck, and I’m sure you’ll win the day! Audax.’”
“So you’re friends with Audax?” Lissy asked the older girl. Kay beamed down at her and nodded. Her eyes were wide and a little unfocused, and she had a slightly mad energy about her - a little like Audax’s ceaseless good temper.
“Well, that’s two warriors,” Myles Granger said, although he didn’t look overly convinced. “Two… females. Where is the last?”
“Here,” said Marn quietly, standing up. Myles blinked at him.
“Where’d you come from?”
“He’s been there the whole time,” Tracy muttered. “You’re just blind and stupid.”
“Oh, I’m injured by your dislike.” The demon hunter walked around the warrior, looking closely at him. “Hmm. Not too shabby… I suppose you’ll do. What do you have in the way of weapons?”
Marn’s hand went to his side, and he hesitated. “I - I have nothing. I was unprepared for fighting.”
Granger rolled his eyes. “What can you use?”
“I’m sure I could use anything. Arrows would be best, but I use a special type. I make them myself. A spear or thin daggers would work as well.”
“I’m sure we can provide those.” The demon hunter pulled a pair of dagger from his boots with the air of a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat. He handed them to the warrior, who tested them thoughtfully before looking up at the others.
“If I help you, you will return me to my world afterwards?”
“Of course!” said Tracy, feeling a little sorry for him. He’d been pulled so abruptly out of his world when he’d only been following orders, and now he was willing to help them. The warrior nodded.
“Then I will do my best not to fail you.”
“Good, so we have at least one decent fighter,” Granger said. Argent folded her arms, glaring at him with dark eyes.
“Excuse me.”
The demon hunter raised an eyebrow at her. “Is there a problem?”
“Well yes, yes there is. I don’t like your tone.”
“You’re a cheese-bag,” added Loki, and stuck out his tongue. Myles glared at him.
“Shut up, pipsqueak. Who asked your opinion? You’re not even meant to be here.”
“I’ll smite you!”
“Shush, Lo,” Argent told him quietly, as Myles began walking around her, giving her the same treatment as Marn had received.
“Two swords. What, do you lose them so you carry a spare?” The girl ignored him, so he continued, “You look a bit skinny, not too much in the way of muscle. And then we come to the main problem. Are you going to have your pet hanging on you the whole time?”
“Of course, I’m helping her train,” Loki retorted. “And I cheer her on.”
“Frankly, I don’t see why you have the right to try and order me around.”
“Because I’m in charge here,” snapped Granger. “That’s why.”
“Look, just work as a team!” Markus shouted, throwing his arms up. “She’ll be fine, Granger, just leave her!”
The hunter gave him a baleful look, and turned to Kay. “And what about you?”
Simply enough, she directed a rude gesture at him, grinning widely. He gave up after that, and simply lead his new team out with the intent of getting started on the job.
“Just one more thing,” Mr Pith called to the others as they stood to leave. “Tiar has managed, somehow, to escape the bonds of the Agency.”
“What does that mean?” Darcie said, frowning.
“It means the rules don’t apply to her any longer,” said the little man quietly. “Even if you catch her, the Agency no longer holds any sway over her. We can’t punish her, and we can’t send her back to where she came from.” He sipped his tea. “Basically, you’re on your own.”